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Codependency can also cause the non-addicted partner to unwittingly enable unhealthy behaviors, which may encourage substance use and addiction. Substance use within unhappy relationships can also become a downward spiral that can be difficult to get out of. One (or both) partner’s substance use can become the source of arguments.
What are the hardest years of sobriety?
It's not always easy, but it's always worth it. The first year of sobriety will be the hardest but also the most rewarding, and it will help you feel like a new person in a new world of possibility.
These dreams can sometimes feel extremely real, or other times might just be a fleeting thought of your former life. When I first got sober I used to have drunk dreams almost every night. SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended sober house as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. It’s a subversive, hardcore choice to take your life into your own hands. It’s an opportunity to grow into your bones, and every single crap thing that happens to you on the way only makes you stronger.
Sobriety Setbacks
You’ve mulled it over so much that it FEELS like you really DID attend a class and had the worst experience of your life. I’ve tried every manner of meditation, including some pretty wacky Kundalini videos on YouTube that were oddly effective. It reminded me that I was aimless, which made me want to drink more. Honestly, I believe this closed-mindedness greatly contributed to previously failed sobriety attempts. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but in the past, I based my interests largely on whether or not it would put me in the path of “cool” people and/or love interests. There are plenty of people who slowly trudge through the remainder of their lives fueled by cigarettes, sugar, and grievance.
The weekends always felt like they flew by, probably because at least one of those days would be spent in hangover agony. I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, but in case you missed it, did you know the average person spends TWO YEARS of their life hungover? But I know for damn sure that I am not throwing away cash like I was when I spent the equivalent of $400 USD per week on alcohol and cigarettes (liquor is expensive in the country where I live). My drinking was all about self-loathing, which I had done for almost twenty years at that point.
Sobriety will introduce you to yourself.
Alcohol and drugs numb our emotions and it’s possible you haven’t actually felt them in years. That’s why it can seem overwhelming when we no longer use substances to numb our pain and emotions. Once we take the first step into our new sober lives, we often feel terrified, unsure, and reluctant. For many of us, we avoid trying sobriety because we fear the unknown.
It is estimated that up to 80% of those who find long-term sobriety had at least one relapse along the way. Some people experience many setbacks before they find lasting recovery. Your intentions may be good, but it takes more than willpower to avoid having a relapse. Other definitions, however, often focus on the process of recovery and developing coping mechanisms and habits that support health and wellness over the long term. Total abstinence may be the goal, but the reality is that setbacks are common.
Your memory improves.
The supportive partner may want to be needed, and feel unhappy, lost, or confused with the new relationship dynamic. Codependency keeps people from having healthy relationships, so unless this dynamic is changed, sobriety may not be enough to keep the cycle from continuing. In a relationship affected by substance use, it’s likely that trust has been broken many times. The supportive partner may have learned to walk on eggshells in an attempt to retain peace in the relationship.
- There are few things more liberating than being outside on a Saturday morning, and NOT because you’re squinting in the sun on your walk of shame back to your car or home.
- This is especially true since you’re likely not taking care of your physical or mental health as it is while suffering from addiction.
- When you’re sober, you’ll be able to eat a balanced diet and provide your body with the nutrients it needs to function properly.